so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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