His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
This is the high leading the old right now
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
