history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize