Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
