wakey wakey hands off snakey
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
