I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
