like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
