I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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