WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
