even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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