if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
