Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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