So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
His hands were made for my vagina.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
