I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
They have beer where we have blood.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
God, I missed his penis.
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