no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
