and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
