a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
