I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We are two peas in an std pod
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
