M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize