5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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