I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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