The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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