You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
