Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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