If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
