is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
