You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
it's like heaven, but drunker
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
