C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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