it's like iHOP with fire
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
