I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
