I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
