i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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