He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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