im gay
i know
yea but for you.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
