Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize