That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
