I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Randomize