Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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