i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
