I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I touched a dick in church today
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
