so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
