Kiss
Puke
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
