I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
