dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
