Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
