If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
should my penis look like a turkey
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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