i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
