If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
