is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
