I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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