Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
