Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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