Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
